Rilek la brader

Had a kinda "same shit different day" routine, except it was friday, so i had friday prayers! Was at KL earlier, singgah la Masjid Jamek nak solat. Parked somewhere far, then walked around 8 minutes walking distance. Sampai2 je masjid i was like wtf, ramai gila orang wei! Masuk2 je, almost everybody brought a sejadah along, and there i was, jalan tunggang langgang bawak bontot dgn sunglass. Lol.

I said to myself ok lets find tempat amek wudhu'(ablution pipe? rofl!) first. Line boleh tahan panjang mcm nak amek susu chocolate goodday free masa kat primary school dulu. Dah habis2 ok time to carik port semayang. All the shaded areas dah fully booked, even bawah pokok nak lepak dari terik matahari pun was full! Damn. Pusing2 found this tiang ala2 tiang signboard at the road side. I thought no use being picky now, id better take whatever shade i can get from the 15cm diameter pole. -_-" So there i was dengar khutbah, sandar kat tiang under the sun with my shades on. Xbleh blah. 5 minutes went on, dah xtahan, id better find a spot nak solat, coz if not ill be praying on cement. Imagine the heatwave!

Okay then nampak mamat ni, 3 orang member2, sorang satu sejadah. Nak start solat je i went straight beside the guy, pushing him aside nak amek ruang atas sejadah. Hahahaha. Talk about rudeness. It was effing hot, i dont give a fuck. Alas, i made it, himpit diorang ke kiri, until i get the sejadah almost all to myself, whereas the owner got the friends sejadah. HAHA. Mission Accomplished. Still, theres no shade. So i was sweating gila babi mcm baru lepas keluar swimming pool. So dub dab dub dab, imam ucap "Allahuakbar", time to rukuk. I bent down je, all the fricking sweat jatuh atas sejadah brader sebelah tu. Aku juling kat brader, brader juling kat aku. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Jahat sial.

P.S: Blame global warming!!!!

What an APpointment!

Okay so yesterday had an effing 'thrilling' time with the Dato's eating satay @ Kajang. Damn they were some big status people and whats so cool is i didnt expect that those type of people wouldve come. Shiiitt, nasib baik wa dah pakai smart2 beb, ala shah rukh khan gitu. Bukannya apa bro, wa ada wedding sebelum tu, tu yang pakai smart2 tu. Kalau wa pakai selekeh bapak malu beb! Jatuh air muka wa, x gengster ar mcm ni. Kah3. Okay so back to the future, called the middlemen, sorang datang lambat at 9pm, lagi sorang tak datang langsung. Memang terbaik dari ladang. But then i was already on my way, so what the heck, ill book the table and order drinks first. Sampai-sampai je, saw this guy tengah minum air kelapa, mcm sedap plak. Hehe. Air kelapa sampai je, the guy looked at me, i looked at him, he looked at me, i looked at him(longer with this face expression), then he didnt look at me at all.

About 10 minutes and 2 cigarettes later, my lawyer arrived with his new white Alza-zazavuvuzela. "Ah, nasib baik smpai awal, mati kebosanan aku", I sighed. We chatted a bit here and there, then the middleman smpai with the Dato's perutssss. Damn, why do almost a majority of named people(with titles i mean) have to have a big belly? Might as well I eat effing a lot, have a belly, then make u guys call me dato'! Haha. Or are bellies are one of the needed features to be included in the resume to apply for Datukship? Not to associate bellies with Dato', but thats what a majority of them have(i repeat, a majority, not all) in my experience meeting all of these titled people. Okay so back to the meeting, diorang sampai je, sesi adat istiadat melayu salam-menyalam diadakan untuk meriahkan lagi suasana keadaan di pondok ala2 bali itu.

What i liked about these type of guys, is they are very straight to the point, and they have very good communication skills. Not to mention their matured jokes and matured topic discussions. I was like, damn, i should hangout with these people! My hair is halfway theirs, so lets start with the belly. Haha. Dah duduk settle order je, one of them started the talk with "Okay, lets get straight to the point, shall we?" I was beginning to like this already. Then discuss, discuss, discuss, in conclusion what my lawyer had was not what they want. So a bit bull di situ. But nevertheless, I did say to them, "Sorry to let you down dato', but ill try and search for any available *toot* from my contacts. Ill contact you immediately once ive got my hands on them." Bunyi mcm xbleh blah kan? Well, im not supplying whores from mainland China, mind you, im supplying something important for a business. Classified. Lalala. But damn, kalau supply whore best jugak siot. Ill be a bapak ayam, and all of my ayams will wear my handbags, and all my clients will be dato's and dato wannabes. You'll see me in a 6-star hotel lobby, with mah bling2 nigga-like gold tooth, a lit cigar, wearing a full suit, and ill greet everyone with "Sup dawg." Hahaha.

P.S: Pray for me everibadi! Due monday/tuesday. Haih. :(

Bon Odori

Fuyo, whats with the hypeness of the Bon Odori festival? Everybody dancing? Mcm best je, thought its just an annual Japanese fap fest. HAHA. Gate opens at 5pm, event starts at 7pm until 9.15pm! Wow, what a nice timing to miss Maghrib! And i bet all us Melayus will be there. I sappork this event mang, i is going there for sure. Click for better pixels:

Hmm mcm best je. Amacam kawan2? Ke nak pg tgk Colby O'donis @ Zouk? Hmm hmm. From the comments from people looks like its fun. But take a look at the rules; "Please respect the culture by not showing in Cosplay, No high heels on the field, Please wear flat heel shoes or sneakers, and No smoking." Danggg, no cosplay? Thats a waste. I wanna wear like this:

With high heels!!! Hahahaha. Hard gay FTW!!!!!

Merapu-rapu-rapu

And so the new semester starts. As usual, pegi beli new stationaries, or in other words 'update' my stationaries, buat ID(lost it), add subjects, and beli deodorant baru. Haha. Damn, AXE deodorant is not bad compared to the price. I forgot the price but its not bad. Plus their adverts are fucking cool wei! My favourite is the one that took place in the library. Take a preview, fap at your own risk:



What? Its a different video? Pi la carik sendiri, smua nak bagi senang la hidup. Ok so then , mcm ada x puas hati jugak la with this deodorant. Yes, it have a not-so-bad-armpit smell, but i think the advertisement is a lie. After using it for one week, i see no difference. As understood from the advert, if u use it, girls tend to come over or seeks ur attention, badly, and give their phone number. In my experience, no girls ever give their phone number, they just asked for mine. HAHAHAHAHAHA. So i think this is not fair and i feel cheated, and i want a full refund please.

Okay so back to the story, beli stationaries. I went to the Curve, jalan2 pi MPH, their stationaries suck. They only have books, effing boring. So went out, wanted to go to Popular at Ikano, since its too far and i was lazy to walk all the way, i thought why not Tesco? Tesco everything got. From undergarments to chilli sauce, they have everything mang. So went to Tesco, masuk je, and there on the left is the stationaries. Oh, how convenient. Barang2 ok. Pencil check, 4 pens check, ruler check, highlighter check, eraser check, book check, stapler check, stapler bullets check, cash NOT CHECKED. I had RM20. My cash was in the other pants. Fuck. Okay, so kira2 (gunacalculatorhandphonesebabmalasnakkirakirapakaiotaknantipeningkenaamekpanadoldantido.jpg), i took pen, pencil,ruler, highlighter and eraser only tq. Knn btol.

I was so tensed, that i actually felt tensed. Balik tu bosan and tak puas hati? singgah mamak jap mai pekena teh tarik tgk jauh mana dia piiiii. (I had RM3 and a few coins so quite safe) Lepas minum sket, korek hidung jap, kuntil2 jadi bola buang kat lantai, pastu hirup lagi sket, watched the people around me, lit a cigarette, smokes a few puffs, hirup lagi sket teh tarik, watched cars pass by while smoking, sapu taik mata, teh tarik tinggal sket so habiskan terus, i smoked some more, i payed cash to the mamak, then i went home feeling satisfied. (MACAM STATUS FACEBOOK KAN, EFF YOU PEEPS HAHA)

So smpai umah je, looked at the aquarium, the water was so hazy. I was like "Oh man, not the algae again." Tuang lagi ubat RM14.80 itu. In an hour, the water was crystal clear. This thing is like, magic. Its like seeing your teh o suam transform into air suam in one hour. Even mamak Kayu-Nasi-Kandar-Mahal-Dan-Tak-Sedap pun x boleh buat beb. I have an idea! Ill buy 10 bottles of those stuff, go to a lake or something and pour it all in it. Ill wait for 2 hours and we have a fucking swimming pool with fishes! Muahahaha. Maybe ill try at tasik-teh-tarik Uniten and see wether it works or not. If it works, ill demand RM30k from the management for restoring the lake to what it should be. Heck, ill make a monthly contract mang. Ill be rich in no time, then the fees would be from 5k per month to 9k per month. Woohoo!

Talking about Uniten, whats up with the drink booth? Its like we have to buy drinks from one stall only? No more 'Milo ais satu' from akak apten ciken rais? Heck, even all the normal stalls are not selling drinks anymore. Bloody fuck, with my super-business-sinus-sensing-skills, i smell money-making-bastards as the culprit. I pity them, coz drinks have a higher profit margin compared to food mang. These people are doing the business to survive! And the management(i guess), they already have a friekin salary, yet still want to take some more money from the poor(not in a monetary way) people. Dah la air x sedap, mahal plak tu! Actually its not that expensive compared to damansara, but whatever. Its just a baseless point. Pfft. But seriously xde la sedap sgt, since it came from someone who sells only drinks. -_-"

So that day when i was drinking the not-so-sedap-mahal-plak-tu drink, it was teh o ais limau actually, terasa mcm xbleh blah plak lepak upten. Omg, i used to worship this place before, now all i see is a junk place with nice food and crappy drinks. Especially with the faggoty Peel Fresh advertisements, i just dont feel that 'eating' aura anymore. Luckily makcik apten ciken rais tu ada, okay sket. Taktau la apa yang ok, just felt ok. Suka hati aku lah.

Ok iklan jap, im in the lab writing this blog now, these bloody mat-salleh-wannabe students nyebok plak. So semangat for a discussion with their fukken english. You understandssss what i meanssssss? I agree witt chu, der kampeni need to understandssss the errr, pekerja(waves hands), employeesssssss. And then giggle. Blablabla, Oh, so you wantsssss to choose the employeessss before, uhhh, amek diorang kerja? Lolololol. Its just a frickin discussion, gecek sudeyh. Mu ni nate gapo nak gecek omputih, dok pahe ambo ni. If the reason is to improve your english, do it with an english literate, at least you can improve. Whats the point of speaking if theres no one there to correct your mistakes? Owh, what did you say? As a confidence boost? You'll make a laughing stock the way i see it.

Okay iklan habis. So where were we? Oh right, tgh merapu. So tu je la. Bye

Regards,
Takpuashati?Adaakukesah?

P.S: Its too long, dont read tq.
P.S2: I still talk with facts btw.
P.S3: Owh, u wanna get me a PS3? Thanks! :)

No Topic

Any topics to suggest?

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P.S: Malas mode

Never Give Up

Nice song aight? Poetic lyrics with real meaning. Just wanna say dont give up in no matter what you do, if you fall just get back up again, with a big smile in your face, and move on. Jika anda jatuh, biar jatuh sorang, kalau naik, biar naik beramai2. Ah pebenda la merapu pagi2 buta ni. So many things we do in life, the term failure is a must have, the difference is just how you handle the failure. Take it as an experience or take it as a sign to stop. Haih.

Macam2 kita buat, kalau berjaya, kalau xde masalah ada je orang yang dengki. Ye, ini hakikat budaya orang melayu kampung yang macam *toot*. Fuck you. Kerana budaya ini lah kita tak semaju bangsa lain. Ada yang bagus, tapi yang tak bagus lebih majoriti. Mengapakah ini. Hadis nabi ada mengatakan bahawa dalam akhir zaman ini banyak dugaan dan bala akan menimpa. Kita perlu bersabar dan bersedia. This is subjective, so dont take it just in one point of view. It actually applies in everything.

I like those liberal malays. They dont "guard side cloth of other people". Hahahaha. If something good happens to someone, they ask how did they do, if something bad they just dont pressure or console them. Fuck you people who dont agree with me, coz if you do your just a typical village malay.

Mari kita tengok pada saying2(lupa term melayu) melayu. Hmm, "Kerana mulut badan binasa." That is a good phrase, but i wanna modify it into "Kerana mulut badan orang lain binasa dahulu, kemudian baru badan sendiri." There. Better right? Next would be "Ada jodoh tak kemana." I totally disagree with this phrase. You wanna know why? Sebab orang sekarang salah guna. Asalnya masa dahulu, orang2 tua kita hanya guna kalau dah usaha bersungguh2 smpai nak mati, dan masih tak dapat buah hati, baru guna ungkapan(ha baru ingat!) tu. But sadly now, baru usaha sket ala2 tahi malu2 kucing, dah give up and then say "Kalau jodoh tak kemana." Well, i say fuck you. The proper phrase would be "Kalau jodoh tak kemana, kalau buat bodoh pun tak kemana." Damn these youngsters, kencing pun tak straight, nak buat macam otai plak tahu semua benda.

P.S: Sorry for the vulgar words. Fuck you fucking fucker.

Marketing? Franchising? Bullshitting?

Wtf is up with all these MLM thingy nowadays? Ada lagi orang buat bendalah yang mengarut lagi membazirkan masa ni? For those who doesnt know what MLM is, its short for Multi-Level Marketing. Where their main market is to sell agents, not products. Contoh2 company are Luxor, Hai-O, Rafa, Shamelin Perkasa, Uptrend, Lampeberger, etc. Google it up if u wanna know more.

The thing i dont understand is, there are still a shitload of mafakkas out there still buying this crap. Just a few days ago, was having dinner at a Kopitiam(Halal Jakim btw) in sunway dsara. Datang2 je, theres this big group, around 10 ppl, with a laptop on the table. Tgk screen, ada benda bulat2, in a pyramid form. In my head was "Damn these people, i pity the new guy." Initially buat tak port je, tapi sampai je makanan, this guy said out loud something yang tak boleh blah. "Kalau abang masuk je, abang jangan risau, ada 200 orang yang akan backup abang. Kalau abang segan xkenal pun takpe kitorang ada." Typical janji manis caramel . I wanted to say "Abang masuk la bang, pastu try la carik 200 orang tu, saya jamin sorang je yang datang, tu pun sekadar call je."

Im not talking bull, aku dah masuk 3 company so far, ada yang boleh buat duit, ada yang rugi, ada yang kena tipu lagi. If ye pun yang buat duit tu, the outcome of it is so no worth the time, effort and small expenditures(duit minum, minyak, topup, etc) I paid a capital of RM1250, i got back RM1580 in 2 months. But guess what, i found that i have less friends, completely wasted my time, and no life.

The thing that pissed me recently was because of the FB thingy. "Modal RM100 jer, pulangan lumayan." Orang tgh best2 mengusha FB tetiba keluar status dia, tak menyiarap rasa? Haha. Here's a pic, click for better resolution:

No offense guy, just making you an example for those who doesnt know. :P So back to the story, no one commented his post, and what makes him look so desperate he even liked his own status. People register Facebook just to get in touch with people, how do you think your marketing business can work? And they come out with facts "74% jutawan dunia datang dari hasil bisnes" tapi tak pulak cakap "Semua bukan dari membuat bisnes seperti saya."

Okay, lets define the word business.

"Economic system in which goods and services are exchanged for one another or money, on the basis of their perceived worth. Every business requires some form of investment and a sufficient number of customers to whom its output can be sold at profit on a consistent basis."

From this website.

The main words to me are, worth, and consistency. Number 1(Ceh macam lecture plak), worth. No its not worth it, even if its RM100. Id rather isi minyak kete aku penuh2 pegi jalan2. Thats just my feelings, but the fact is i can do other business with that RM100, that i can really see the product/service, and everything really is up to me. 2nd is consistency. Now this is the main point here, do you see any consistency? Luxor, initially deemed successful, now nothing. Uptrend, ditto. Lampeberger, the same but later found out its a hoax. The main company doesnt even sell air purifiers. There are NO CONSISTENCY. If id combine both worth and consistency, id rather sell otak2 kat mamak. Its worth it, where one i can get for 29sen, im selling at 60sen. Its quite consistent, as every week i can sell around 600 at least, and that doesnt include weekends or football nites!

My conclusion is, for those people out there who is doing this, please do something else. The main profit is to find agents/people to pay a sum of capital for the business. Ive asked a guy doing this before "What happens if all the people in the world dah masuk? Aku nak tarik siapa?". Most of them kantoi kat situ, but got this one guy answered "By then we have the capital and asset advantage, so we would concentrate on the products." Dengan selamba aku balas "Why not concentrate on the products now? Kenapa, tak laku ke? You have the capital advantage the way i see it, capital dah juta2 tulis kat kertas A4 tu. Banyak tu." Kantoi jugak. Its just the fact that people has already set their minds to stay away from this. You'd better do the same.